Hello friends,
Recently marked the 3 year anniversary that I have been divorced. I just wanted to take a moment an acknowledge it.
It has certainly been an educational and transformative time. I know I make it seem like I was always so fine and peaceful about it.
The truth is I spent much time sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, drinking and crying and wondering why I had f*cked up my life so much and left a husband who adored me.
Today, any sadness, guilt or disappointment has been entirely replaced with gratitude.
I am grateful for the 13 years I got to spend with Mike D. He was a wonderful husband and loved me very much and we had a really great life. When I look back, that is all I see.
It is also empowering to take full responsibility for the the demise of my marriage.
When I left I thought he was a certain way and I blamed him for my lack of satisfaction with the relationship. Oops.
3 years later I know it was all me. I would rather drink than communicate. I would rather blame than fix it.
I WAS THE REASON MY MARRIAGE FAILED. It feels good to know that.
I didn't know about emotional adulthood at the time. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T OUTSOURCE MY FEELINGS? My husband and YouTube are not the problem. It is me?
GOOD NEWS! HOORAY! I was the problem. I am the solution!
I am grateful for my self awareness and coaching work that has gotten me to this point.
I am grateful our divorce went smoothly and lovingly.
I am grateful he is remarried to a super great guy.
I am grateful that while I have had quite a wild single life, I made time to have two wonderful and kind boyfriends who are still great friends - John and Billy.
I am grateful that I am not afraid to fall in love again.
I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on the last 3 years.
It's so cool to date as an adult. I need nothing but have so much to offer.
I am excited to meet the next amazing love of my life! (I might need to grow a beard here in Denver to snag one but I will keep you posted! HA!)
Loving ourselves and our journey unconditionally is an amazing gift we give ourselves. Know you are exactly where you are supposed to be, always. I was meant to be in a great marriage, meant to be a bit a mess for a few years and so ready for anything that is next.
I am so grateful to be here to do this work on myself and with you! Reach out anytime!
Love, Buck
Buck & Mike D circa 2010